" RAAAAAGE "

Why am I so mad all the time?
Well, all you ladies know what I mean when I say hormonal.
Hell, guys understand too. But this is something more.

There are a couple of factors that contribute to this problem of mine.

Scenario One: It started off with a little day trip I went on with my friends.
This is when it first affected me. On this day, I only remember a couple of things:
* I told people I would be there at 12:30 (earlier than the time we were meeting) to wait for everyone to get there. The first person showed up at 2. Good thing I was with someone already or I would've been more pissed. Probably would've left.
* I never got to build my sandcastle
* After waiting for them, no one thanked me for buying them food LOL yeah, you're welcome guys.
* Boyfriend blurted out a question I had asked him before to others, and triggered a simultaneous "yell at michelle" moment, just to prove I was wrong. Its my opinion okay? If you don't agree with me, okay, but don't go gather people to your side and make me feel like an idiot for thinking it.
* On the way to another location, being completely ignored by the boyfriend while talking to two other girls.

Scenario Two: Another day trip.
After the first incident and after I told him how he was ignoring me and how certain things annoy me, yet he does it again. Many times. And people wonder why I'm so angry.
* Ignoring me again. But this time he interacted with me a little.
* Walking with the other girl, even though I was already mad.
Yeah, made me more angry.

And after showing how angry I was to the entire group of people we were with, I get told to not show my anger when I'm with other people.
Okay. Yeah I'll do that.

Now, the finale.
I've been invited to a get-together by that girl, my bf and my other friend at the same location as the first scenario.
I declined.
Honestly, why would I want to go anyways?
I can tell you exactly whats going to happen.
I'm going to get there early.
People probably won't be late this time.
I'm going to sit there and do nothing, while I get ignored like always
and I'm going to go home as miserable as I was on the first trip.
That's all. So excuse me if I don't want to be a part of that.
I was told to not show people I'm angry. So what better way to do that if I'm not there?
( plus I'm suppose to be staying overnight somewhere the next day so my parents would be mad if I went out that day too lol )

See my anger seems to be directed to this one girl,
but really don't get me wrong I DON'T HATE HER
I know it seems like I do, but I don't. I'm not bashing her. She nice and sweet and she is my friend. Believe me, I understand her situation. I know she just wants to hang out with friends, and I love my boyfriend but I just don't enjoy being around them at the same because I feel excluded and I don't matter. It's nice when you finally do include me though.

I'll just avoid the problem. No one gets upset and you all get to have fun without the depressed little girl in the group. Have fun without me, cause I'm sure you will.
If you were in my shoes, would you be overly pissed off too?
Yeah, I think so.

I had to let this out.
Even if no one sees this it's alright, cause at least its out there.
Thanks guys for reading and understanding my situation.
Even if you don't, mehh, theres nothing I can do right.

LONGEST POST EVERRRR !! lol
I'm proud.
So now that this is done, I'm going back to sleep.
Thanks again.